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Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Partake In Forbidden Love

Photo:  Marvel Comics

That’s right, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver straight up “Lannistered” all over the place. But it gets even worse. In this storyline, there’s a strong implication that Wolverine is their father, having slept with their mother around the same time Magneto did.

Well, during one of Wanda and Pietro’s dalliances, a hairy man peeks through the bushes. That man may very well be the father of those twins.

Archangel Deflowers A Teen In Front Of Her Mom
Photo:  Marvel Comics

Uncanny X-Men, indeed. Paige Guthrie, AKA Husk, loses her virginity at age 19 to Archangel, who is likely in his 30s at the time. Inexplicably, this takes place in the air as a group of X-Men (and Guthrie’s mom) look on in insufficient bemusement.

There’s just so much wrong with this, especially the lighthearted nature in which it’s depicted as if something like this is anything but horrific. In fact, it is one of many reasons Chuck Austen’s run of Uncanny X-Men is not remembered fondly.

Hal Jordan Sleeps With A Fellow, Younger Green Lantern
Photo:  DC Comics

Hal Jordan sleeps with a fellow Green Lantern named Arisia, an elf-like alien woman who doted over him for quite some time. That sounds fine, right? Well, when she was doing all that doting, she was actually a child – something comparable to a 14-year-old human (though she looked even younger) – and through her desire to be with Hal, she subconsciously used the power of her ring to age rapidly into a grown woman.

Hal took note of that and slept with her not long after.

Saturn Girl Drunkenly Loses Her V-Card And Wipes The Memory Of Her Lover
Photo:  DC Comics

When a friend sacrifices her life to save Saturn Girl, AKA Imra Ardeen, she’s devastated. Her fellow Legion member Cosmic Boy, AKA Rokk Krinn, knows the only cure is a stiff drink. One thing leads to another, and the two end up losing their virginity together.

When Saturn Girl wakes up in the morning with a clear head, she realizes what happened. She is immediately regretful, fearing the implications for the team, so she wipes Rokk’s memory.

Superman Loses His Virginity As A Kid To A Brainwashed Girl
Photo: DC Comics

There’s a messed up 1977 Superman tale: DC Super-Stars Giant #12 “Don’t Call Me Superboy.” In this wild adventure, Kal-El’s robot teacher from Krypton arrives on Earth and puts Clark through a series of tests. After one of Clark’s classmates, Misty, learns of his identity, they sleep together. Shortly thereafter, however, she is slain by marauding sasquatches.

Clark is enraged, on the verge of offing one of the Bigfoots, but he stops because he does not take lives. And that was the final test. The Kryptonian robot teacher appears to praise Kal-El and reveals that Misty was actually from a neighboring town; this robot took her and brainwashed her so he could manufacture this love affair with Clark. Misty wasn’t actually slain, but she did unwittingly sleep with a man. Years later, Clark actually bumps into her on a plane, on which she’s a flight attendant.

This story is often overlooked because it’s assumed Clark was a virgin before Lois, but if this is canon, he most certainly was not.

At A Young Age, Dick Grayson Gets Tangled Up In Corporate Sabotage
Photo: DC Comics

In Nightwing #134 , a character named Liu tries to weasel her way into Wayne Technologies to swipe corporate secrets by seducing Dick Grayson, AKA Nightwing, when he’s only 16.

Though we never learn her actual age, it’s clear that she’s much older.

Storm And T’Challa Lose Their Virginities At Age 12
Photo: Marvel Comics

In his early teens, T’Challa – the crown prince of Wakanda – goes into the wilderness in a rite of passage called a walkabout. Out there he meets the young Ororo Munroe, who would later become a member of the X-Men known as Storm. The two quickly fall in love and lose their virginity to one another, and even go on to get married.

It seems like a sweet story, but that’s not quite the case. While they look like teens, later issues of Black Panther reveal that they were both only 12 at the time.

Wolverine May Have Taken Squirrel Girl’s Virginity When She Was Just A Teen
Photo: New Avengers #7/Marvel Comics

There is a lot of debate as to whether or not a very adult Wolverine was physically intimate with the teenaged Squirrel Girl, but even the suggestion is a bit off-putting. In Wolverine #8there is a sequence in which Squirrel Girl hangs out in Logan’s dungeon.

Later, in New Avengers #7, Squirrel Girl is babysitting for Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. When Wolverine walks in, the moment is tense. Wolverine says, “I thought we agreed never to see each other again,” suggesting that something happened between the two.

Colossus Inadvertently Conceives A Child
Photo: Marvel Comics

Not long after Marvel artists started drawing Colossus alongside the X-Men, he was given quite the story. In the Savage Land – a place where dinosaurs roam and pink people fight to stay alive – Colossus rescues Nereel from a Tyrannosaurus rex, and to show her gratitude, she invites a friend to assist her in taking Piotr Rasputin’s innocence.

While losing his virginity to two pink ladies with mohawks, Colossus fathers a son. Fortunately for Colossus, Marvel seemed to think this was a mistake, too, so Piotr’s son Peter makes very few appearances, and his father never even learns of his existence.

Rogue Loses Her Virginity Via Retcon
Photo: Marvel Comics

The Sentry was a character created for X-Men comics specifically because that group always seemed to have serious continuity issues (how fitting that the movies reflect that, advertently or not).

Basically, The Sentry is just a walking retcon, expositing his way through the X-Men tales to shore up any details. In The Sentry: Fallen Sun, the character perishes and a funeral is held for him at which there’s a pretty serious reveal. At one point in the proceedings, Rogue breaks down and runs off, unable to watch this. The next panel shows a comically hushed conversation between Johnny Storm and Cyclops, revealing that Rogue is so upset because she holds a special place in her heart for the Sentry as she lost her virginity to him.

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