10 Times Redditors Tried To Make Harry Potter R-Rated –
You know some witch or wizard has written a book of erotic bedroom spells.
edit – Inboxa cadavera
I guarantee there is at least one person out there who is addicted to Felix Felicis (the luck potion from Half-Blood Prince). I mean, if it can get you a “perfect day”, don’t you think there is someone out there who brews that stuff on bulk, or even a company that just sells that, and uses it every day to try and have a perfect life? Maybe there’s a rehab center or a “Feliciholics Anonymous” for people who are Felix Felicis addicts trying to quit (similar to actual drugs in the muggle world).
This isn’t necessarily “R-rated,” but it’s a bit of real world thinking applied to the HP universe.
Do you ever think about how many people must work in curse-proofing? Like, there must be a pretty sizable economic sector dedicated to putting curse blockers on, for instance, basically everything that magical world leaders ever come into contact with. How many leaders around the world do you think were killed by exploding forks or furniture turning into lions or something of that nature? Magical anti-terrorism must be pretty hectic in a world where anything can theoretically be turned into a bomb with the right spell. Even when you’re just casually walking through a crowd of magic users, you’re essentially surrounded by a bunch of people with guns; they could all kill someone if they know “avada kedavra.” I thought you can’t block that curse, so how do leaders stay safe during public events? Then of course there’s polyjuice potion; do you think they have a scanner to make sure everyone who enters a government building is really who they say they are? They clearly don’t at the bank since Hermione was able to get in as Bellatrix.
The punishments are pretty extreme. Azkaban should be considered a crime against humanity. In the Fantastic Beasts movie it was too easy for the main characters to be sent for execution. It also bothered me that the executioners were so calm/happy helping someone die. Umbridge should not have been able to use a magical hand-scarring pen to punish people. Honestly, it feels like the law in that world has no limits, and I’d be scared if I lived somewhere in which that was normal. Wizards/witches have probably committed some pretty sick acts because their legal system is shady. For example, they could torture someone as punishment and instantly heal them, over and over again. Or they can use a spell that forces them to experience their worst nightmares. There could be people who think that a rape case could be ‘fixed’ by erasing the victim’s and the criminal’s memories, and pretending that the whole event never happened.
Memories: when you can transfer them so freely as wizards do you can live out the sickest desires while never having to commit the crime yourself.
In the last book, it’s mentioned that many of the first year wizarding students had simply gone missing without explanation, because of the Death Eaters on the loose. These kids are never found. It’s pretty frickin dark to imagine the Hogwarts Express getting stopped and boarded, and all the young first year students getting escorted to concentration camps.
There was this one bit in the books where Ron was practicing cheering charm spells and did it wrong and ended up being all giddy and laughing and had to be led away for an hour.
Charm junkies. There would just be a bunch of wizards sitting in a basement duplicating and transfiguring food and water while spending the rest of the time constantly ecstatic on cheering charms.
Selling drugs to muggles
It is pretty clear that the books are all from an “over the shoulder” perspective of Harry, who is in many regards clueless or mistaken. I’m quite certain he (and ron) simply missed a lot of what was going on. Hermione is fully informed about the boyfriends Ginny had even in her first few years. I assume the whole place is a lot more date-heavy than we know, simply because the perspective (and target demographic of the books, of course) didn’t show us.
This is literally every single fanfic ever written