Ms. Frizzle, the science witch who operated the Magic School Bus in the ’90s, is one of the most frightening characters in children’s entertainment that the world has ever seen. Not only does she kidnap her class on a routine basis and restructure their molecules, but she drives a flying bus that seemingly runs on good vibes – and she hasn’t shared how that technology works with anyone. What’s your problem Frizzle? But that’s not the only Magic School Bus messed up fact. There are so many creepy and weird things in this show that it makes you wonder if the show was pulled off the air because of the disturbing images it was presenting on television.
Because it was broadcast on PBS, the adult jokes in Magic School Bus feel even dirtier than the adult references put into regular cartoons. No one wants their kids to start parroting quotes about “white stuff” when they’re supposed to be learning about how plants grow. The Magic School Bus adult jokes and straight up nightmare scenarios on this list are enough to make you reconsider ever letting your children watch educational programming again. After all, if they’re going to watch something as messed up as Magic School Bus then you might as well just let them watch Reservoir Dogs and call it a day.
Arnold Has Absentee Parents And No One Cares
Do you remember how when you were a kid your parents wouldn’t let you eat whatever you wanted because they were hoping that you could actually get some nutrition and live past your pre-teen years? Well Arnold’s parents don’t do that, and in the episode “Goes Cellular” Arnold reveals that he’s eaten nothing but “Seaweedies” for a month and that he’s turning orange.
Either Arnold’s parents are dead and he’s afraid to tell anyone, or his parents are alive and hoping that he’ll die from malnutrition.
Ms. Frizzle Deceives The Parents Of Her Students On A Regular Basis
In the opening episode of The Magic School Bus, Ms. Frizzle takes her students to the planetarium, which is fine, but she didn’t say anything about taking the students into outer space. Your parents would have freaked the f*ck out if one of your teachers lied about where they were taking you on a field trip.
Wanda Is A Monster
It wouldn’t be a big deal if Wanda were an old fashioned know it all, but the fact that she gets so mad about Arnold accidentally recycling a toy soldier than she was going to donate (long story) that she wishes that recycling never existed makes her a terrible person. That’s not even the worst of it.
When Ms. Frizzle shows the students what life would be like without recycling (garbage everywhere, no swings, general pollution) Wanda is totally fine with the new development as long as it means that she’ll receive credit for her lame toy donation.
The Students Are Constantly In Mortal Danger
It doesn’t matter where Mrs. Frizzle takes her students, be it inside one of her students or under Walker Lake, the kids are almost always dying. It’s sheer luck that Ms. Frizzle has never had to relay terrible news to the parents of one of her students.
Watch Out For White Stuff
While learning about how chlorophyll works inside a beanstalk, Wanda (a child) is blasted in the mouth with a mysterious white goo that she later describes as sweet. Sorry Magic School Bus, but you’re off to TV jail.
Ralphie, An Idiot Child, Is Allowed To Drive The Bus
Why would Ms. Frizzle let Ralphie, arguably her worst student, drive a school bus? Not only does he lack the basic comprehension that allows everyone else to understand weather, but he’s not tall enough to drive a bus! This is a gross misuse of power.
The Theme Song Begins With A Student Begging For The Field Trip To Be “Regular”
Don’t you just love it when the song at the very beginning of the show you’re watching reminds you how much the characters don’t want to be there? What’s more terrifying, the fact that Arnold is horrified at the thought of the fresh Hell he’ll be enduring?
Or the rest of the students taunting him immediately afterwards?
The Kids Are Almost Trapped In The Zoo Forever
When Ms. Frizzle tries to show the students what it would be like to be animals, the bus turns itself into a bear and runs away – leaving the students caged up in the zoo. How is this is a children’s show and not an episode of Black Mirror?
Ms. Frizzle Is Technically A Felon
This isn’t meant to make light of anyone who’s had to deal with a creepy adult in the past, but it should be pointed out that Ms. Frizzle has not only gone inside the bodies of her students, but that she’s also put them inside of her. That’s very far from being a cool thing to do.
The City Planners Of Walkerville Are Straight Up Dummies
In the season 4 episode of The Magic School Bus, “Get Swamped”, the city debates over whether or not to build a mall on top of the town swamp. First of all, no. You can’t build a massive structure on top of a swamp and expect the foundation to hold, or for anything to smell good. Second, why is there a debate about this?
There should be someone smart enough in Walkerville to say, “We’re not doing this, end of discussion.” Maybe this isn’t totally f*cked up, but it shows you the kind of people that the students of Ms. Frizzle’s class have to look up to – morons.
Ms. Frizzle Can Make People Change At An Atomic Level
When Ms. Frizzle takes her class to a water park she “accidentally” turns herself, the bus, and her students into water. There are only two explanations for this:
A. Either she meant to do that, and it’s spooky that she can harness the earth’s energy in order to change someone’s molecular structure.
B. Ms. Frizzle doesn’t understand the power available at her fingertips and the next time she does something like this everyone could evaporate and die.
Ms. Frizzle Has An Anger Issue
In a season 3 episode of The Magic School Bus where the class is trying to put on a play of Jack and the Beanstalk, one of Ms. Frizzle’s students is in charge of making a beanstalk for the play. She tries to grow one, that doesn’t work, then she tries build one, and that doesn’t work either.
So what does Ms. Frizle do to this child who shouldn’t have to worry about building a giant prop? She turns her into a beanstalk. That’s classic passive aggressive behavior.
Children Are Allowed To Operate Heavy Machinery
Even if this show and book series runs off of dream logic and it makes sense for children to be driving around a school bus with magical properties, there’s no reason for them to be operating a Ferris wheel like they do in the season 2 episode Getting Energized. Because they’re weird little kids, when the Ferris wheel breaks they decide to harness the power of falling rocks(!) instead of calling a mechanic.
The School’s Principal Is The Laziest Man On Earth
If you could tell Siri, or Alexa, or whatever, to make your coffee, wash your dishes, and sweep your floors would you? Initially that sounds like a good idea, but if you have half a brain you know that would go wrong immediately. How many times have you told Siri to text your significant other “I love you,” and ended up accidentally sending “I’ll leave ew?” Probably all the time because technology isn’t perfect.
But Mr. Rhule doesn’t care about that and he hires Ms. Frizzle’s class to program his computer to raise the flag, make the coffee in the teachers’s lounge, and ring the bell. Of course they ruin everything by instructing the computer to do all of this once a minute instead of once a day because Walkerville is a nightmare.
The Town’s Lizard Spa Is Named “Herp Haven”
What the f*ck, Magic School Bus? Yes, one of your main characters is Liz the Lizard and Herpetology is the study of amphibians. But didn’t anyone on your writing staff say, “Let’s not call it Herp Haven?” Why not name it “The Lizard Lot?”
The Children Have No Problem Forming a Kangaroo Court
After the students return to school from a break they find their prize-winning vegetables (sure, whatever) have all rotted, except for their cucumber which is now a pickle. The kids want to know what happened so they PUT MS. FRIZZLE ON TRIAL! That’s a plot point of the Dark Knight Rises, not an educational children’s show.
Ralphie Wants A Slave To Take Care Of His Chores
In the episode Flexes Its Muscles, Ralphie gets the class to pitch in with him to help build a robot that he can enslave. While the group does end up learning some important information about bone and musculature, it’s unnerving that Ralphie would rather build and force something to do his bidding than simply cleaning his room.
Is Ms. Frizzle Keeping The Secret Of Clean Energy To Herself?
It’s safe to say that Ms. Frizzle’s bus is the only one of its kind at her school, and since she never seems to need to gas it up it’s safe to say that she knows something that no one else does about clean energy. Why won’t she save the world by telling us what she knows? Has the auto industry gotten to her too?
Ms. Frizzle Doesn’t Actually Know To When She’s Time Traveling
If you were time traveling with a bunch of eight year olds, wouldn’t you want to know exactly where you were going? Not Ms. Frizzle, who in the episode where the class travels back to check out some dinosaurs notes that they went back, “67 million years give or take a month or two.” You don’t want to be a little more specific?
Walkerville’s Fundraisers Don’t Make Any Sense
What did you have to sell for your school fundraisers? Candy? Gross chocolate covered cherries? Well not the kids of Walkerville, they sell light bulbs. What’s happening here Walkerville? Is there something in your water that turns the citizens into maniacs?
Why Do The Students Need To Learn About Salmon Migration?
Not that the migration habits of animals aren’t interesting, but shouldn’t these kids be learning math? Or how to read? Every single student in Ms. Frizzle’s class is going to be so screwed when the get to junior high.