Timmy Is Told He Crushed His Dad’s Dreams
What Happened: After Tim accidentally breaks his Dad’s “Dream Box,” his dad told him not to worry because his dreams were crushed a long time ago. When Timmy asked how long, Timmy’s Dad asked how old he is.
Why It Was Horrible: As goofy as Timmy’s parents seem, there’s an underlying notion that they don’t want Timmy. No joke in Fairly Oddparents history has ever been as direct as the one in the video. It shows just how unwanted Timmy is to his parents.
The Masturbation Joke
What Happened: It’s always funny when a kid’s show sneaks adult humor, but in “Poof’s Playdate,” the gag is anything but subtle. In the episode, Timmy’s parents watched a program about being bad parents. According to the program, if a kid likes to spend a lot of time alone, doesn’t want to be bothered, and brings paper towels to his room, you’re a bad parent. Timmy comes in and says he wants all of those things.
Why It Was Horrible: you realize his Fairy Godparents follow Timmy around everywhere he goes…
The Show Calls Out the Boyscouts
What Happened: In the episode “DinkleScouts,” Timmy’s dad suggested that if he took a group of boys to the movies wearing a scout leader uniform, he’d be arrested.
Why It Was Horrible: This one is maybe more savage than horrible. As it turns out, like the Catholic Church, Boy Scouts of America has a history of adult leaders molesting vulnerable young boys. Timmy’s dad is worried that if he takes kids into a dark movie theater wearing a Scout uniform, he’ll arouse suspicions of pedophilia.
Chompy Mounts Vicky
What Happened: Chompy the goat found Vicky locked up in a pillory. He ran around behind her, got up on his hind legs, and gave her a wedgie.
What It Was Horrible: Think of it like this – a goat finds a kid locked in a pillory, runs behind her, mounts her, and her eyes go wide. Sure, a second later, you find out Chompy gave Vicky a wedgie. But if sure looks like he’s slipping her something else.
Wanda Worries About Your Anus
What Happened: In the episode “Tom Sawyer,” Timmy and Wanda have the following exchange:
Timmy: He can turn planets into plants. He can turn gravity into gravy.
Wanda: He can turn Uranus into… Oh my gosh! We’ve got to stop him!
Cosmo: What?! I don’t get it—what’s the threat?!
What It Was Horrible: Um, because someone’s anus is about to get all kinds of messed up.
Cosmo Gets a Boob Job
What Happened: In the episode “This Is Your Wish,” Cosmo accidentally got a boob job. He grabbed onto his new boobs and shouted “I’m keeping them!”
Why It Was Horrible: There’s nothing wrong with anyone deciding to get a boob job. What’s messed up here is that Timmy’s fairy god father, a creepy buffoon, hornily manhandles his own boobs in front of a young kid for whom he’s in some way responsible.
Timmy Wants to Kill Chip Skylark
What Happened: Jealous of the attention pop sensation Chip Skylark got on his birthday, Timmy wished for something bad to happen to him in the episode “Boys in the Band.” Much to Timmy’s chagrin, he learned he can’t wish Chip dead or injured.
Why It Was Horrible: Besides proving Timmy is a serious sociopath, the act shows how dark kid’s wishes can get. Sure, it doesn’t actually work, but having the protagonist of children’s show wish people dead is very dark indeed.
Fairies Explode If They Can’t Grant Wishes
What Happened: In the episode “The Same Game,” Timmy wished for everyone to look alike, which caused all the fairies to explode, because they can’t find kids to grant wishes.
Why It Was Horrible: Out of all the horrible ways to die in the world, none seem as painful as expanding to the size of a water buffalo before bursting into magic confetti. That’s the horrible fate that befell a lot of fairies once Timmy made his reckless wish. Did he apologize? Nope.
Timmy’s Dad Wants to Murder Dinkleberg
What Happened: After Timmy’s mom declared everything she touches dies in “That’s Life,” Timmy’s dad invites Dinkleberg over to shake her hand.
Why It’s Horrifying: The Turner/Dinkleberg rivalry went to some dark places before this scene, but never was there a reason to believe that Timmy’s dad wanted to murder his neighbor. Maybe there was some American Beauty influence going on in the writer’s room.
Timmy Breaks His Mom’s Back, Repeatedly
What Happened: Episode “That Old Black Magic” takes place on Friday the 13th, which means all superstitions come true. This is proved time and time again as Timmy stepped on cracks and broke his mother’s back more than once.
Why It Was Horrible: It’s hard to tell which is more messed up, Timmy’s mom’s back breaking over and over, or listening to her whimpers of pain as she struggles to not let a broken back ruin her family’s day.
Evil Bug Up Your Butts
What Happened: When Timmy wished for Vicky to be nice in “Vicky Loses Her Icky,” an evil bug crawled out of her butt. It then tried to crawl up other people’s butts to turn them evil. To top it off, when Cosmo saw the bug crawl out of Vicky, he explained he always knew something was up there, but thought it was a corn cob.
Why It Was Horrifying: A bug with gigantic pincers that makes you evil by crawling up your butt is a lot to digest. Especially if it comes from someone else’s butt without at least using some hand sanitizer before leaping up yours. If that weren’t enough, the episode conjures images of a corn cob in a kid’s butt, which is probably illegal.
Timmy Torments Young Vicky
What Happened: Deciding he wanted revenge against Vicky, Timmy wished she was a five-year-old in “The Switch Glitch.” That way, he could be her babysitter and pay her back for all the bad things she did to him.
Why It Was Horrible: Never give Timmy Turner power. Even though Vicky horribly mistreats him, there’s something sickening about watching Timmy abuse a small girl. At one point he puts a dunce cap on her, paints her face with clown makeup, then watches her cry. Even though Vicky soon turns the tables on him, it’s tough to sit through.
Timmy’s Dad’s Okay with Timmy Looking at His Teacher in a Dress
What Happened: When Timmy’s dad saw a picture of a man in a dress on his son’s computer, he told Timmy he wasn’t supposed to be on “those types of websites.” Timmy replied that it’s his teacher, the horrid Mr. Crocker. Timmy’s dad commented that the dress makes Crocker look nice.
What Happened: Seeing Mr. Crocker in a dress would probably be the most traumatizing thing a kid could see, but this scene raises some questions about what Timmy’s dad is into and what he’ll allow Timmy to get away with.
Fairies Killed the Dinosaurs
What Happened: In “The Really Bad Day,” Cosmo and Wanda informed Timmy that Cosmo has to be really evil for a day. It’s a requirement for all fairies, else they be sent away from their kids and put in boot camp. Wanda revealed the last time she had her Bad Day, she wiped out all the dinosaurs. In his evil state, Cosmo almost blows up the world.
Why It Was Horrible: Sure, Fairy Godparents seem like nice individuals who want to help neglected children, but this rule about going evil for a day is just terrifying. Think about it – these are powerful beings with magic at their disposal, and for some reason, they’re required to be as evil as possible every few centuries. These Fairy Godparents should be feared, not adored.
Timmy’s Parents Don’t Care About the Law
What Happened: When Timmy presented his parents with a legal document (in The Switch Glitch) stating Timmy did not need a babysitter on the weekend, his jerk parents ignored the legality of the document and instead used it for fancy fish wrap.
Why It Was Horrible: Imagine just how much time went into acquiring that document. Forms filed, signatures required. But Timmy’s parents don’t care in the slightest about their son’s hard work. It’s surprising Timmy didn’t try to emancipate himself right there. Rule number one about legal documents is that you don’t use them for fish wrap.
Timmy Causes an Existential Crisis for a Fictional Character
What Happened: Timmy wished the Crimson Chin was real, but when the comic book hero realized his life was a lie, it sent him into a destructive depression.
Why It Was Horrible: We all wonder what life means on this spinning rock we call Earth. To discover we’re nothing more than figments of imagination created as entertainment would be devastating. The way Timmy casually informs Crimson Chin he isn’t real is both heartbreaking and tactless. No wonder Crimson Chin flies into existential crisis.
King Arthur’s Horrible Death
What Happened: In “Knighty Knight,” Timmy convinced the timid King Arthur to be a hero and fight a deadly dragon. Arthur charged into a cave, only to be spat back out moments later as nothing but a sack of bones.
Why It Was Horrible: “…spat back out moments later as nothing but a sack of bones.”
Timmy’s Dad Carries a Mom Puppet
What Happened: When Timmy’s mom became the new weatherman (weatherwoman?) in “Mother Nature,” Timmy’s dad assumed the responsibility of being both parents. What did this entail? Whipping out a mom puppet to literally act as both parents.
Why It Was Horrible: Timmy’s dad walked the line between lovable buffoon and unhinged lunatic. Producing his mom puppet and proceeding to give it its own personality confirms dad was indeed crazy. Hopefully he didn’t do spend time alone with that puppet and some paper towels. #pregnantpuppet
Timmy Took a Bath with a Dildo
What Happened: Timmy took a bath and Wanda swam in with a toy that looked like a penis.
Why It Was Horrible: Other than it being a fairy god parent wielding a massive phallus in a children’s show, Timmy’s taking a bath. So he’s naked. And along swims Poof with what’s basically a dildo.
The Town Turns Murderous Against Weathermen
What Happened: When weathermen got the forecast wrong in “Mother Nature,” the citizens of Dimmsdale responded by grabbing torches and pitchforks and running them out of town.
Why It Was Horrible: Dimmsdale isn’t filled with the brightest bulbs in the shed, hence the name. Their mob mentality, combined with their stupidity, makes these people dangerous. Watching characters on a kid’s show revert to their proverbial state of nature is as captivating as it is disturbing.
Cosmo Blows Up Pluto
What Happened: When the doofus president left behind his button that destroys the world, Cosmo found, and pressed, it. Pluto exploded – turns out the gang never knew which world it would destroy.
Why It Was Horrifying: As if Pluto hasn’t gotten pummeled enough with it being not a planet anymore, it’s subjected to annihilation in a cartoon.
Canada’s Way of Life Is Threatened
What Happened: The minor recurring villain Norm the Genie had a personal vendetta against Canada, and wanted to do everything in his power to destroy it.
Why It Was Horrible: What did Canada ever do to anybody? Nothing, which makes Norm’s hatred of the country horrid and despicable. Yet as Norm sees it, Canadians had “had it too good for too long.” OK, fair enough, but that’s no reason to dress up like a Mountie and try to destroy an entire country.