If Normal People Talked Like Democratic Presidential Candidates –
Waffles are functional food. They have little cups to carry stuff in. They are have a built in X and Y axis graph. They are double sided so if you mess up one side you just flip it over. Frozen waffles are good for teething babies, the cold numbs their gums, the cups catch the drool, and they get fed all at the same time. They’re soft and crunchy. They also fuel psychic children to overcome a desolate demon filled neitherworld.
Pancakes just get soggy and fall apart. The other side of the pancake is just as plain and useless as the first
Waffles are the superior food by far.