Let’s just put all the cards, canaries and balloons on the table here; I’m not a fan of clowns. With IT Chapter Two about to give us nightmares, I just want to come clean, I’m not a fan. So, thinking I could just avoid movies that have clowns in them, I turned to video games. Bad idea.Those permanent-smiling fuckers are there too.
Jason is one of the saddest characters in the game. He’s abandoned by his dad in a shopping mall, and the last person he talks to, is this disturbing clown.HIs last moments include a balloon, an unsettling feeling in his stomach and a tragic accident that his dad can’t save him from. Personally, I blame the clown.
Also known as “Sweet Tooth” (which is actually the name of his truck), this psychopathic and murderous clown is a nightmare.He’s got a flaming head, a permanently fixed clown mask and is a serial killer. So, it’s gonna be a no from me, for my kid’s birthday party.
This guy is a dick. He’s a maniac, short-tempered, insanely flamboyant, destructive and cruel. While most of the villains in the Final Fantasy series have been cold and calculating, Kefka is a pure psychopath who’s unpredictable and certifiably insane.So, like every other clown, essentially.
With a name like that, you know these clowns aren’t family friendly. This 1988 game was the first time a terrifying circus member scared gamers. But not only are they frightening looking, they’re also nearly indestructible.They’ll rush you with knives, and you’ll empty a clip into them, and they’ll keep on coming. A perforated clown with a knife is a shit-stain inducing sight.
You know what’s more terrifying than a clown? A Zombie Clown. Not only is clown make-up and a perma-grin already giving you the creeps, they’re also braindead monsters in squeaky shoes.They’re also a pain in the ass. They’ll charge you and draw attention, attracting other zombies. Then they claw, kick and punch you until you’re tender enough to eat.That’s two strikes.
You know what else is scary? A clown with two chainsaws. In this game, one of the worst bosses is Adam; a dude who’s gone insane in the face of a zombie apocalypse.Plus, the whole ‘chasing you through an abandoned shopping mall’ is pretty scary and will turn you off of clowns, malls and going outside altogether.
Normally, I wouldn’t go as far as say that Ronald is scary, but in this game, he looks like blood-thirsty predator, stalking kids to make into Big Macs.Not every pixelated cartoon character can look child-friendly in a video game. There’s just something about him that gives me the heebie jeebies.
This balloon/clown/jester hybrid is a nightmare. He appears at the end of the level and gets extra creepy points for stalking you through a creepy circus-style arena and fighting you with spindly arms that have giant hands on them.Fuck no.
This game’s got a baby clown that looks old, riding a unicycle, holding a joystick, who blows stuff up.That’s more than enough for me. Especially because he comes out of nowhere, in this gothic settings.
Unlike the rest of the creeps on this list, Dhoulmagus is more of a jester than anything, but he’s still a jerk. He’s a tough boss, uses three forms to defeat you and laughs at his own jokes.Plus, his last form is that of a demon, which proves that all clowns are devil spawn.
There’s nothing worse than a depressed clown. Bonker’s in this game to get revenge on anyone who’s ever laughed at him. He’s insane, has a permanent scowl, a depressing voice and an arsenal of pies, cannons and Mallets.Sad clowns are somehow scarier than the angry ones.
He’s obviously going to be on the list. He’s both intelligent enough to take over the entire prison and trap Batman inside, but crazy enough to be dangerous, unpredictable and a serious threat.Plus, Mark Hamill’s voice is perfection when it comes to portraying “Mista J.”