There is no ritual quite as sacred as gathering with close friends, cracking open a few beers, and beating the living daylights out of each other in Super Smash Bros. The fighting game has gone through several iterations, but no matter how much higher the graphics quality gets in each version, there is always one constant: your main Super Smash Bros. character.
Like your Mario Kart character, who you choose as your Smash Bros. fighter says a lot about you. Sure, some people can play well with a bunch of the characters, but we all have that one character that just feels right. Your go-to is your id – you at your most primitive, unfiltered self.
What does your Super Smash Bros. character say about you?
You have been playing Super Smash Bros. since its release, and surprisingly, you are a generally a good sport. People enjoy playing with you because you are an expert fighter and you like to share tips with less experienced players.
You tend to be that guy in the office the new person clings to, but you don’t mind. Many admire your self-confidence and ability to go with the flow – and you know it, but stay humble. Good on you.
You’re the person who says, “Let’s just have fun, everyone!” as you set up a round. Deep down, however, you’re hoping to obliterate your opponents. You get so frustrated when your egg bombs don’t hit – but when they do, it’s a thing of beauty.
Best described as a frenemy in real life, you know how to get close enough to people to learn their most intimate weakness – and then use it against them.
One of the original Nice Guys. You believe in True Love, and you don’t get why your crush doesn’t reciprocate your overwhelming yet passive advances, like when you texted them a ransom offer since they stole your heart. Yeah.
You’re addicted to a good ol’ structured narrative, and the fact your life outside of Super Smash isn’t falling into place makes you feel like you were somehow forgotten. However, you weren’t forgotten – you were too busy trying to take cool selfies with your sword to realize everyone else was working towards that picture-perfect life.
A quick-witted pop culture junkie, your zingers are almost as electrifying as your down-B thunderbolt.
Still, like the aforementioned move, your unrelenting wit can drive people up the wall. You don’t always need to be the first one to break down the latest MCU movie scene-by-scene on your office’s Slack. Please. Don’t.
You’re just the worst. Even though you’re only technically controlling Popo, you love to talk about how much skill it takes to play two characters at once. You tend to inflate your abilities in real life, too. Your resume says you are fluent in three languages, but you don’t specify that Pig Latin is one of them.
You may have managed to fail up for some time now, but people will catch on to your inadequacies. Be careful.
Your go-to move is summoning knights and fireballs, and even though your fellow players give you a hard time for it, you don’t care! You do what you want! And you do it in style.
You aren’t as hellbent on winning, whether it be in Super Smash Bros. or in your rec softball league, as some of the other players. You’re mostly there to make an appearance.
You are a control FREAK. You always have to know what’s going on with everyone – just like Kirby does when he flies over everyone else. You don’t like anyone taking the spotlight either, which is why you love to use the maddening stone move on another player who’s just about to grab a hammer.
You like to know what’s going on because, in your heart of hearts, you ain’t nothing but a people pleaser. You shift your personality to match whoever you are hanging out with at the time.
You like to think you are the best, and in some ways, this is true. You do, however, have a hard time admitting that maybe some things – like your auto-combos – helped you achieve greatness. You’re never one to acknowledge your privilege, and your friends have a hard time listening to you gloat after you win eight rounds in a row.
On the rare occasion that you don’t have the upper hand – like when your friends rightfully decide to gang up on you – you whine about how unfair it is.
Bowser is arguably one of the slowest characters in the game, and you get frustrated when smaller characters zip around you. This likely mirrors your real-life experiences around the water cooler when your coworkers trade inside jokes you don’t know. Why can’t they just explain them?
You definitely have a chip on your shoulder and feel like people should give you more credit. Maybe they will once you stop acting like your way is the only way.
You have a strangely calming presence for someone who has a damaging charge shot they can shoot from their arm cannon. Like Samus’s jumps, you tend to float, whether it be between friend groups or jobs. You go with the flow, but you still know when to step in and stick up for what you believe is right.
People often think you’re sitting around idly, but in reality, you’re charging that cannon, waiting to strike at the perfect moment.
You are one of two people. You could be someone who has never played the game in their entire life and simply thinks Jigglypuff looks cute. The more likely scenario, however, is that infuriating others gives you an ungodly amount of joy, and you’ve learned the best way to anger your friends is to beat them with one of the seemingly least-capable characters in the game.
Your other pastimes include starting every rebuttal with “Well, actually,” and trying to piece together whether or not your work crush reciprocates your feelings – not that you would do anything about it.
Your presence packs as big of a wallop as your wind-up punch. Sometimes people can be put off by your larger-than-life persona, but you can’t help that the spotlight naturally gravitates towards you. If anyone needs to get a party going, all they need to do is call you.
Don’t let it get to your head, though – no one forgot that time you beat them with the sacrificial KO (Kongocide), and you may stop getting party invites if you keep doing it.
You have said “Falcon PUNCH!” out loud after a successful quarterly meeting, performing the jab for yourself in a mirror. You look in the mirror a lot, actually. Or any surface reflective enough to catch a glimpse of yourself – because you’re just that good.
You pride yourself on your ability to pull all-nighters to make your presentation deadline and still have enough energy to throw back a couple with some friends. Yes, you are good-looking and a master of many trades, but at the end of the day, the only person looking at you with all the love in their heart is, well, you.
You may think you’re being hip and irreverent by playing Luigi, but you are anything but. You gravitate towards things because they aren’t “mainstream,” but by doing so, you’re buying into a subculture that exists because the market demands it.
Face it – you are as much of a capitalist pawn as the rest of us, and picking a player that is just Mario in green doesn’t change that.
People are often caught off-guard by how capable you are, and you are just as confused as to why. With your amazing aerial moves, you are able to get what you want – be it smashing your last opponent offscreen or getting a substantial raise at the office – with relative ease.
You can be loud when you want, but you are generally a quiet person – which may explain why people are impressed when you complete the most basic tasks with ease.
You know the saying, “The best offense is a good defense”? That’s about you. In the game, you use your shield as a counter to merk your enemies. In real life, you build up walls to prevent people from getting too close. You already did that once or twice in the past, and it did not turn out well.
Maybe one day you will be able to let down your defenses, but until then, you’re perfectly content staying walled up.
Pew-pew-pew! You love using your laser gun and giggle any time you inadvertently set off a motion sensor bomb in melee mode. You are a child at heart, and people admire your general sense of optimism.
You can get a bit pouty if things don’t go your way, though, and given that you aren’t an actual child, it can get grating at points. Chin up, bud.